Prompt

Prompt: What do you see when you close your eyes?

Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I see stars. Stars that sparkle and spin in the blackness, refracting light and forming colors. Colors unknown to the gray monotony of reality, creating shapes and taking me to the paradise of worlds no soul could possibly fathom. The beauty there too rich, too rare to describe.

Sometimes, I see my mistakes. The clips in my mind replay over and over, taking note of every slip in strength, every stumble in my words, every relapse, everything. The pain in those visions could push me to despair, my eyes burning hot with unshed tears, my throat closing up and choking on the unspoken words. My heart growing heavy with the feelings I’ve condemned myself to feel, too afraid to hope, to dare to dream. The weight there is always too heavy to bear for long. I try to carry on, to drag on with my burden, but I always fail, and I fall far. And I might not get up.

Sometimes, those feelings of joy bleed through. I see my dreams, all my aspirations and a better version of myself. I go through a life that’s not quite mine, my head held higher, my smile brighter, my spirit lighter. It’s a feeling of ecstasy unrivaled by anything else, impossible to be recreated in the physical world. At least, not anymore. I’ve made too many mistakes, done too many wrongs. So I open my eyes, collect my emotions once again, close the door on those dreams and lock them in with a sigh, only to return to the life I managed to escape from, if only momentarily.

Sometimes, I see nothing but darkness. It sifts and weaves through itself like thick smoke, permeating my thoughts and twisting into my mind. Devils and monsters and all the evils of the world take form and they make me cower in fear.

And sometimes, just sometimes, like Pandora’s box, all that’s left for me to see is hope.

-Denise